Very Shabnami!

Now there was a time when I was in Kahalgaon - a place with swinging temperatures - summers peak to 38 and winters go down to 4 or so। I was an adolescent and it was the beginning of my contacts with the world outside my family - outside the 4 of us. School, outside people and the world of gossip which makes the world flow - it was wonderful - people noticing me (not that they did not do it before) and appreciating me. It was the time when feathers started sprouting out of the wings - itchy but for a better time ahead. And it was around this time when it came - when music shatters the barriers of silence. Why I fell in love with it is like one of those unanswered questions - why do people like each other at all! And i was swept by it and fell for it ... It was in those transition times of summer to winter and it was like temperature falling, rains falling, and me falling - first for the music and then for the visuals and then for the intricate things like shades and locations. I was in me after a while. Year by year after that year - 1995 - i have waited for such a thing to happen. Its like esperiencing the one thing that makes you wait gives you so much pleasure than experiencing whatever is readily available. :)

And then this year when again the temperature is going down, this came again। In many forms I would say there are indications from everywhere. Either my life is going to end soon or it is that sometime in life we just get lucky :) For beginners, my life always had a winter in the winters - but this time spring has taken the place of autumn and the summers are going to take over the winters. The trees which should have appeared to be lifeless, leafless and frosted at this time are appearing to turn green. Then there is this place which is a coast but the coldest coast i have ever been to, which i am beginning to fall for. And then there is this piece of work coming by (which HE knows when I will be able to see) that i am having to hear everyday - it is sinking in me like a creeper that spreads on the exterior of a huge tree in the rains and then spreads it roots inside the tree to hold to it strong. Nights always had the previlege of the moon's light but to hold on to someone when you roam around the harbour on a fullmoon night was just a fantasy, which also has come true. Is this the end of the world or is this the end of the world as i know it? I dont know and I dont think I care. Thinking is one thing but I think i should take it the way it comes. This is afterall ... surrendering, isnt it?

सोंग: जब से तेरे नैना ...