Emmete: Well In my world if you dont look like you just stepped out of a Clavin Cline underwear ad, you are nothing!
George: Thats a world I am happy not to know!
Song: Autumn is here inside my heart, When there is spring time in the air ...
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Past Tenses!
Am back blog :) Looked at you many a time but never wanted to tell you things. They may spill out now. The last couple of months have been quite silly. I had thought that I of all, usually "thoughtful" that I am, will never allow drama into life. But somehow it seeped right into where it should never have been. Laughing out loud now, I recollect how important it is to be detached. Throughout I have been detached - no attachemnts whatsoever with anything/body (except for my phoneset and my shoes) and that left no chance for any involvement. Then I was me. Things took a turn, I wanted not to be me and there i was with an aching head for the first time! Not a pleaasure - is what i realized once i seeped out of my body, shifted myself away from the self and saw everything that had happened as a third entity - so foolish, so meaningless, such waste of time!
But then I realize - not a complete waste. At this point in life it was essential that something told me what I need and what I dont (as opposed to what I want and what I dont). At least a phase of it is clear. I am sure life (as kind as it has been) will do the needful as and when time comes. No complaints.
Another interesting thing happened. People met and it seemed everyone had a past. Past with people, with memories of people and memories with people - and all remembered so vividly. I was amused and then shocked! I dont have any memories of past people - not in this particular way. It is all about me, some kind of processing happened that converted all experiences to myself, or so I think. Somehow places are still the same - vivid and colourful, as if I can still feel them.
Not that i am very young or anything - people I meet are also around of my age and are passed through similar experiences and passions and lives. Strangely enough some even live in the past. I am no one to say what is good or what is bad, but at least I cannot so much. Gone is gone - no remembrance but lessons always taken. In fact I am forced to think events dont even matter in lives. What becomes of those events, what people get out of it and what it gives way to - is of actual importance. Some would say thinking this way makes life easy. If so, I have adapted myself well. Though this may not even be correct as "adaptation" means existence of some A which turned into some B. What if there was no A ... ever!
When derived, the logic clearly goes to the above paragraphs of detachment. How effortlessly people have been away and may be for that reason they are not in the picture. Reminds me of a line from a famous song - Feels like we all feel! - which in turn reminds me of wet meadows and the faraway hills. More of that later.Coming to the point I have decided to be with people who suffer from similar amnesia. For those with a past, its all tension which I am not capable of carrying I know.
Song: One more cup of coffee for the road ...
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
What if? - Being Able To See!
When they said that he was the one who is stupid and talks non-sense he could not belive what they were talking about. Why is it so difficult for people to believe what they did not use
to. Being open to new ideas is certainly not something mankind does very easily. Having said that, it is also true that mankind has been surviving through all these years and growing
because of the very fact that it has been thinking and assimilating new ideas. But that i believe is because of some reason like - they being followed only after someone proved those
ideas were safe - or some such thing. Coming back to the de-generalization, it was a wonderful breezy evening at that rather hot and dry place. He finished his lab-assignments and
got out of that very cold room. Usually he would stay there for as long as it remained open, but this particular evening the breeze outside was unusual. And so, there he was at the
terrace of his hostel bulding watching the clear starry sky.
He kept gazing at the shine of a sea-shell he held. He had it since the last winters when he had picked it up from the beach ... he was there with his folks - a lovely time spent. A wavy,
forthy beach - he always longed for it and would later on in his life realize how he always got mystically pulled towards beaches. But as of now all he could think of was his room-
mates. Strange, but somehow he had always been lucky in terms of room-mates. No one lived with him for more than a year. Except for minor diffrences stay with all of them was
quite pleasant! Somehow it always seemed he has been living with the same person, just modified in looks and certain other aspects. They were repeatedly the same good-natured,
humble, soft-spoken, fun-loving but uncharacteristically reserved people. They all wanted to skip physical lonliness in their own ways - he remembered this as he often found them
irritating.
And they never let the windows open in the night. It was almost ritualistic for them to close all windows of the room before going to sleep. He felt stupid at times about it but then
realized it might just be for safetly. I will not tell you how, but the events somehow made in his mind a path, which led to the conclusion that they all could "feel". That they could see
things he could not. It was sure enough that this feeling scared them. That this gift troubled them. That closing the window was in a way symbolic of shutting down the exterior. While
he stood there thinking everything, he was shocked by a lightening - aparently the breeze was because of approaching clouds and also, he scared easy. The shake let the shell free and it fell off the building.
"I love that thing", he shouted. "No you dont ... if you really loved it, you would have flung" - he reflected!
Song: All I have to do is Dream ...
to. Being open to new ideas is certainly not something mankind does very easily. Having said that, it is also true that mankind has been surviving through all these years and growing
because of the very fact that it has been thinking and assimilating new ideas. But that i believe is because of some reason like - they being followed only after someone proved those
ideas were safe - or some such thing. Coming back to the de-generalization, it was a wonderful breezy evening at that rather hot and dry place. He finished his lab-assignments and
got out of that very cold room. Usually he would stay there for as long as it remained open, but this particular evening the breeze outside was unusual. And so, there he was at the
terrace of his hostel bulding watching the clear starry sky.
He kept gazing at the shine of a sea-shell he held. He had it since the last winters when he had picked it up from the beach ... he was there with his folks - a lovely time spent. A wavy,
forthy beach - he always longed for it and would later on in his life realize how he always got mystically pulled towards beaches. But as of now all he could think of was his room-
mates. Strange, but somehow he had always been lucky in terms of room-mates. No one lived with him for more than a year. Except for minor diffrences stay with all of them was
quite pleasant! Somehow it always seemed he has been living with the same person, just modified in looks and certain other aspects. They were repeatedly the same good-natured,
humble, soft-spoken, fun-loving but uncharacteristically reserved people. They all wanted to skip physical lonliness in their own ways - he remembered this as he often found them
irritating.
And they never let the windows open in the night. It was almost ritualistic for them to close all windows of the room before going to sleep. He felt stupid at times about it but then
realized it might just be for safetly. I will not tell you how, but the events somehow made in his mind a path, which led to the conclusion that they all could "feel". That they could see
things he could not. It was sure enough that this feeling scared them. That this gift troubled them. That closing the window was in a way symbolic of shutting down the exterior. While
he stood there thinking everything, he was shocked by a lightening - aparently the breeze was because of approaching clouds and also, he scared easy. The shake let the shell free and it fell off the building.
"I love that thing", he shouted. "No you dont ... if you really loved it, you would have flung" - he reflected!
Song: All I have to do is Dream ...
Blue!
This is not how I imagined it would be. I saw it again and again and again and will see it many times over. It is very easy to dismiss something that couldnot live upto our expectations -
same as things of utlility as it is with people. But when there is anticipation - a long one at that - it becomes difficult to let go. And it stood very true for my anticipation for that short blue
film! Not many people like this labour of love - absolutely that is. Ridiculous is often the word to describe it. But i am sure once one comes to know the base on which it is created, one
would appreciate. Here is just a bit of what I think is the piece all about.
The idea was to create romance - a simple one at that. Simple in terms of story and not creation. (The creation should be grand - talked about - and should live forever! It should be
nothing less than a legend when people talk about it later.) What can be simpler than the divine romance of Krushna and Radha? A romance that not only has occupied the mythology
of the country but also is "divinised" in this society where usually such a thing between people is frowned upon! Anyways ... there he was ... the one who loved eternally - but doubt
always prevailed. She trusted but some times would doubt. Then she would lose her doubt in trusting more. And this entire process comes into perspective when it is observed and
appreciated by a third person.
He was recognizable from far because of his "saanwlapan" (no one knows if he was tall enough to achieve the TDH definition!) and so there it was ... the pain of love - gained, lost and
regained - all within the form of the lover! The form was blue and hence the blue (no one complained when matrix was green stainted!) And did I say - the studio insisted on an "Indian"
experience? With relative freedom they all sprung into work - the director of sound, music, photography and cinematrography! The story was left on to the writer / director who could
have etched a lot but decided to keep it simple. Beyond this everything is in flesh and blood. Yet again appreciation of the craft supercedes that of the substance.
Song: Woman in Love ...
same as things of utlility as it is with people. But when there is anticipation - a long one at that - it becomes difficult to let go. And it stood very true for my anticipation for that short blue
film! Not many people like this labour of love - absolutely that is. Ridiculous is often the word to describe it. But i am sure once one comes to know the base on which it is created, one
would appreciate. Here is just a bit of what I think is the piece all about.
The idea was to create romance - a simple one at that. Simple in terms of story and not creation. (The creation should be grand - talked about - and should live forever! It should be
nothing less than a legend when people talk about it later.) What can be simpler than the divine romance of Krushna and Radha? A romance that not only has occupied the mythology
of the country but also is "divinised" in this society where usually such a thing between people is frowned upon! Anyways ... there he was ... the one who loved eternally - but doubt
always prevailed. She trusted but some times would doubt. Then she would lose her doubt in trusting more. And this entire process comes into perspective when it is observed and
appreciated by a third person.
He was recognizable from far because of his "saanwlapan" (no one knows if he was tall enough to achieve the TDH definition!) and so there it was ... the pain of love - gained, lost and
regained - all within the form of the lover! The form was blue and hence the blue (no one complained when matrix was green stainted!) And did I say - the studio insisted on an "Indian"
experience? With relative freedom they all sprung into work - the director of sound, music, photography and cinematrography! The story was left on to the writer / director who could
have etched a lot but decided to keep it simple. Beyond this everything is in flesh and blood. Yet again appreciation of the craft supercedes that of the substance.
Song: Woman in Love ...
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