Past Tenses!

Am back blog :) Looked at you many a time but never wanted to tell you things. They may spill out now. The last couple of months have been quite silly. I had thought that I of all, usually "thoughtful" that I am, will never allow drama into life. But somehow it seeped right into where it should never have been. Laughing out loud now, I recollect how important it is to be detached. Throughout I have been detached - no attachemnts whatsoever with anything/body (except for my phoneset and my shoes) and that left no chance for any involvement. Then I was me. Things took a turn, I wanted not to be me and there i was with an aching head for the first time! Not a pleaasure - is what i realized once i seeped out of my body, shifted myself away from the self and saw everything that had happened as a third entity - so foolish, so meaningless, such waste of time!

But then I realize - not a complete waste. At this point in life it was essential that something told me what I need and what I dont (as opposed to what I want and what I dont). At least a phase of it is clear. I am sure life (as kind as it has been) will do the needful as and when time comes. No complaints.

Another interesting thing happened. People met and it seemed everyone had a past. Past with people, with memories of people and memories with people - and all remembered so vividly. I was amused and then shocked! I dont have any memories of past people - not in this particular way. It is all about me, some kind of processing happened that converted all experiences to myself, or so I think. Somehow places are still the same - vivid and colourful, as if I can still feel them.

Not that i am very young or anything - people I meet are also around of my age and are passed through similar experiences and passions and lives. Strangely enough some even live in the past. I am no one to say what is good or what is bad, but at least I cannot so much. Gone is gone - no remembrance but lessons always taken. In fact I am forced to think events dont even matter in lives. What becomes of those events, what people get out of it and what it gives way to - is of actual importance. Some would say thinking this way makes life easy. If so, I have adapted myself well. Though this may not even be correct as "adaptation" means existence of some A which turned into some B. What if there was no A ... ever!

When derived, the logic clearly goes to the above paragraphs of detachment. How effortlessly people have been away and may be for that reason they are not in the picture. Reminds me of a line from a famous song - Feels like we all feel! - which in turn reminds me of wet meadows and the faraway hills. More of that later.Coming to the point I have decided to be with people who suffer from similar amnesia. For those with a past, its all tension which I am not capable of carrying I know.

Song: One more cup of coffee for the road ...