Seven thirty in the evening and I was still not sure I was going to fly to a land far far away. I know these days distances do not mean anything at all. But in my opinion, its all a make-believe, something which people just do not try to think about, just so that they can feel safe - that is one feeling which drives mankind to do whatever it does. A warm feeling of security. That was in plenty at the place I was going to be in less than twelve hours. And that was there too at the airport - My heart always starts beating faster when I undergo a security check. And I am sure if they have a lie-detection test at that time, I would fail even at the question of whether I can breathe!
Anyways, after a lovely farewell by RT, Hennu and Tannu, I was all by myself. A delay over an hour for the departure and the announcement that the plane would take a slightly different route, were fueling my euphoria. And after all the waiting, I was there flying over an invisible but seemingly present ocean - and the sunrise was as beautiful as it could get ... the various shades of blue getting transformed in the bright light - animated :) The setting sun from my floor window reminds me of it a great deal, everyday.
Landing, security check - once again, and getting out of the airport in a taxi - into what can be described only as a theme park. Even the rain seemed so designed. one beautiful thing to notice (well everything is beautiful here) is the hospitality (no wonder it is a tourist center) and their way of handing something with both the hands (the hotel bill for example). Everything is so green that one can just keep gazing and never feel tired. The way the architecure seemlessly integrates with the nature is awesome - just echoing the fact how different people from all over have been residing here concealing all differences. Seemingly so, at least. (Later I came to know how Singaporeans and "the others" are differentiated with the policies, as everywhere else).
I still experience in my head, the rain from an air conditioned cab (did I mention that everything, well almost everything here is air conditioned, because of the humid weather). Gazing outwards in the cab, with the seat belt on (always - or else a huge fine is imposed) I would wonder what kind of a destiny the islad had (everything has certain things decided for itself) ... from just a community of fishermen with coconut leaf huts to a business hub with infrastructure itself worth a chunk of the entire global economy, this place sure had some huge changes to see.
Parks, ferries, Malls, lights n ribbons, pubs, saunas, market places, eat outs, gyms - this place sure has more to offer always. On my way to and from work I missed and talked about India to the cab drivers - friendly people who faintly knew what/where Bangalore is. One asked if it is so much colder that it snows. There were other people too, from Australia for the project thing ... I was gifted a very cute koala with a blue jacket! :) And suddenly I felt the nostalgia is just a thing to pass ... the days are numbered and so living in the present is so important!
Song: Livin' Lavida Loka ...
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Thursday, March 08, 2007
Sunshine!
It was the night before Valentine's day and I had put in a CD of what I had heard will be a sweeping motion picture! And it began with "Random thoughts for Valentine's day, 2004. Today is a holiday invented by greeting card companies to make people feel like crap". How apt! From then on, it clinged on to me as it is even now! Joel and Clementine were so out of the world, still so lovable. What makes two souls come together will always remain a riddle for me. In my experience, what makes two people even like each other is pre-determined. Eyes communicate and speak volumes. And then when there is a possibility of liking, there is always the one who initiates. How and why, I do not understand as I have not experienced it yet. Just as in liking, there is always the one who likes more (There is always a one in a relationship who loves more. I do not want to be that one).
Everything that is created out of a liking has to be worked on, just as anything else. It has to be dusted and polished to be kept alive. There is always the one who wants to go away. And then there is the other one who does one of these two things - "lets go" or "asks to stay"! So many people that I met and made friendship with or did not like much and still remained in touch, and so many other people about whom I heard in the gossips or normal discussions fall in the former type. Even myself. I do not understand why does it become so difficult to say it in reality - to stay! Just stay ... why? ... i do not know ... just stay! That is what Clementine tells her Joel and as Joel tells his Clemecmy! They laugh in confusion - they dont know why. There are always such moments when we just do not know what to do - just smile / laugh! May be because there is a hope of what is coming will surely be great.
Joel: It would be different if we could just give it another go-around.Clementine: Remember me. Try your best. Maybe, we can.
I bet all the broken hearts everywhere have these same lines to speak. But they just dont do it aloud.
With that sunshine spilling all over ... the sunshine that shook my sleep away, that turned the night into a day and that made the day after so sunny that I just couldnot be out in the sun, made me stay home all day long ... thinking. How much right do we have on our own selves? This is MY body, this is MY mind, these are MY memories, and we go on. Whereas in reality it all belongs, is provided by, is built by someone else. However easy it might be to deny and reason otherwise.
Song: Some time!
Everything that is created out of a liking has to be worked on, just as anything else. It has to be dusted and polished to be kept alive. There is always the one who wants to go away. And then there is the other one who does one of these two things - "lets go" or "asks to stay"! So many people that I met and made friendship with or did not like much and still remained in touch, and so many other people about whom I heard in the gossips or normal discussions fall in the former type. Even myself. I do not understand why does it become so difficult to say it in reality - to stay! Just stay ... why? ... i do not know ... just stay! That is what Clementine tells her Joel and as Joel tells his Clemecmy! They laugh in confusion - they dont know why. There are always such moments when we just do not know what to do - just smile / laugh! May be because there is a hope of what is coming will surely be great.
Joel: It would be different if we could just give it another go-around.Clementine: Remember me. Try your best. Maybe, we can.
I bet all the broken hearts everywhere have these same lines to speak. But they just dont do it aloud.
With that sunshine spilling all over ... the sunshine that shook my sleep away, that turned the night into a day and that made the day after so sunny that I just couldnot be out in the sun, made me stay home all day long ... thinking. How much right do we have on our own selves? This is MY body, this is MY mind, these are MY memories, and we go on. Whereas in reality it all belongs, is provided by, is built by someone else. However easy it might be to deny and reason otherwise.
Song: Some time!
Such A Lovely Place!
An early morning after a late night, I am sure, does not sound good. When it happened, it did not seem good too! But then what happened after, was surely, surprisingly and excitingly good!
Aunty, Palls, RT and me - all boarding a cab with KP - dropping him at Cubbon and heading ahead - me in the front and the rest at the back seat. The morning showed it was going to be a memorable day! Among the first things that struck my notice was this huge fly-over - on the way to Mysore it was there for a long stretch - reminded me of some street (i dont remember it anymore as it was in one of my unnamed adventures at Mumbai 4 years back) and also of what Hosur Road, Bangalore will look like in 4 years from now! A piece for letting imagination fly, am sure!
Soon after we crossed this marvel, what was supposed to be a "chatting all the way" became a slumber for the back-seaters! And I gazed on from the huge highway that carried us so peacefully to some place where they say the past resides! Thinking of past, I felt in those rocky montains, a similarity and homeliness of the very first family picnic my mind could remember. Of that and all those we ever had and of the vast openness that my village visits gave me to wonder and wander on ... I felt would never come back. Growing up sure keeps somethings for the memories. You just cannot do them as you did them as a kid. You just couldnot stop the car and go ahead and move around in the foothills till it grew dark, unless you were out for moutaineering that is! But you sure can go to a particular site, which would give you a beautiful sight of the sunset - just like the one we had in Abu. I will surely remember it! I thought I just can remember it! But surprises are always in store!
ThiruNarayana temple - was our first stop (How I wish I could have a cam of my own to have so many snaps of the places I visit and from all the angles my eyes could make at them - will have one very soon). Everything was enchantingly mesmerizing. Divinity and Sanity flooded the place with light, even in those dimly lit sanctorums. The first meal of the day at the MahaLaxmi temple was quite a treat! We left and moved on to the Narasimha temple on the hilltop! Reaching there, covering the way on the stairs reminded of Abu again. With every step the tiredness grew and what I had thought would remain just to remember was there - right in front of my eyes again - the same vastness that showed us the sunset two years back. What goes away, sure goes away to come back. Everything was beautiful in that lovely place!
The palace was a quick visit post-lunch and a shopping that I think became syonymous with Sophie's choice. With all its grandeur the palace stood ... but I could not hear anyone talking about what its soul was / is. Rather what its body is right now was much of a concern ... a thing about obvious beauty (I will talk about this sometime). Later, the gothic Church seemed to superimpose and jam the thought processes for a while. Returning, the sunset was not visible or may be I forgot how it looked like ... as the things I saw in that single day were still getting processed by my mind ... settled and racked.
Song: Are you kidding!
Aunty, Palls, RT and me - all boarding a cab with KP - dropping him at Cubbon and heading ahead - me in the front and the rest at the back seat. The morning showed it was going to be a memorable day! Among the first things that struck my notice was this huge fly-over - on the way to Mysore it was there for a long stretch - reminded me of some street (i dont remember it anymore as it was in one of my unnamed adventures at Mumbai 4 years back) and also of what Hosur Road, Bangalore will look like in 4 years from now! A piece for letting imagination fly, am sure!
Soon after we crossed this marvel, what was supposed to be a "chatting all the way" became a slumber for the back-seaters! And I gazed on from the huge highway that carried us so peacefully to some place where they say the past resides! Thinking of past, I felt in those rocky montains, a similarity and homeliness of the very first family picnic my mind could remember. Of that and all those we ever had and of the vast openness that my village visits gave me to wonder and wander on ... I felt would never come back. Growing up sure keeps somethings for the memories. You just cannot do them as you did them as a kid. You just couldnot stop the car and go ahead and move around in the foothills till it grew dark, unless you were out for moutaineering that is! But you sure can go to a particular site, which would give you a beautiful sight of the sunset - just like the one we had in Abu. I will surely remember it! I thought I just can remember it! But surprises are always in store!
ThiruNarayana temple - was our first stop (How I wish I could have a cam of my own to have so many snaps of the places I visit and from all the angles my eyes could make at them - will have one very soon). Everything was enchantingly mesmerizing. Divinity and Sanity flooded the place with light, even in those dimly lit sanctorums. The first meal of the day at the MahaLaxmi temple was quite a treat! We left and moved on to the Narasimha temple on the hilltop! Reaching there, covering the way on the stairs reminded of Abu again. With every step the tiredness grew and what I had thought would remain just to remember was there - right in front of my eyes again - the same vastness that showed us the sunset two years back. What goes away, sure goes away to come back. Everything was beautiful in that lovely place!
The palace was a quick visit post-lunch and a shopping that I think became syonymous with Sophie's choice. With all its grandeur the palace stood ... but I could not hear anyone talking about what its soul was / is. Rather what its body is right now was much of a concern ... a thing about obvious beauty (I will talk about this sometime). Later, the gothic Church seemed to superimpose and jam the thought processes for a while. Returning, the sunset was not visible or may be I forgot how it looked like ... as the things I saw in that single day were still getting processed by my mind ... settled and racked.
Song: Are you kidding!
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
Surrendering More!
Its half past eight in the evening and here I sit on the third floor of this building - Its call America. Its situated at the heart of this city, its supposed to be in the main business district and is located in a visually posh part of this city! Chennai - I had all kinds of apprehensions about this place! Wondering how it would be, how it would treat me and how I would relate to it! To my surprise, it is just another place, a city that is huge - much bigger than Bangalore is. It is humid (as of now it is just cool and not hot) a bit and I am loving it. People are surely amused by me - the voice and the hair! :) But that is going out as a positive as they come by so good and loving - to be particular, quite respectful - most of the time! The autowallas are a nightmare and, I think being a city, it just has everything in its every damn corner - redundancy I mean! This is my first experience of getting exposed to a city. Life has been quite a steady ladder till now. Ramagundam (Completely isolated), Kahalgaon (partly remote), Gandhinagar (Well what can I say), Bangalore (the first city) and then Chennai - it all seems so very planned and incremental that I just surrender more! :) I still have to find a house, a place which I think I will keep as I had dreamt of it in Bangalore. Quite an urgent removal of me from the city it was - kind of thrown out of the place - but I think faster the pace, lesser the pain of removing a band-aid! I wish and hope I am taken care of all the while I am here. Right now a colleague is helping me get back to the guest house. It has got a toaster there and I am having a lot of breads! Would get back with more soon! Many things to speak about but this one came first. With many epilogues to come, if things dont seem in order, just go by :)
Song: NA
Song: NA
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